Part I: Ssshhh…

01.20.11

Dear Diary,

I got kilig when he pinched me! He was actually sort of teasing me because our boss gave me something. He teased me saying not exactly as quoted but close to it, “Hala baga lage jin.” I could not see his face because my back was on him and I was busy working on some printouts. At first, it was just the sleeve he was tugging but the second time was different. He gently pinched my skinny arm. Then I remembered one time when he wanted to get past me. I was standing between two tables occupying the only space where he could pass through. There was no other way but to move aside. Then surprisingly, he held my right bony arm while passing through. I was surprised even more because he “pressed” it. But then I said to myself, “Maybe he just wanted to know how thin I really am.” Despite that gnawing fact, I still got kilig over it because he was not like that before! (Hmmmfff! Hate this foolish feeling!) Just like when I would be busy working something on a computer, he would come near me. Just a small contact and even his presence alone never failed to get me gaga over him! (Oh yeah I know it’s nothing on his part.)

01.25.11

Nobody knows (except those I trust) it is HIM I am falling in love with. It is the last thing I should feel because right from the very outset, it is simply forbidden. Now I know what it is like being in someone’s shoes, someone who has loved a man she must not have even on life after death.Part of me is chastising myself to stop loving him but how can I do that when I get to see him every single day. Ugh! But let me tell you something…

One time, we sort of partied after conducting a seminar for the ******. We ended up singing and drinking while waiting for our dinner. As a result, I got wasted! I puked a lot because I had so much beer in my tummy before it was filled with real food. (I’m not gonna do that again! Lesson learned!). We really had fun together with our boss and a resource speaker from the “Region”. When it was time to go, I asked him a favor to give me a lift back home. (Because I trusted him.) He okayed and I then rushed out to take a seat on his motorbike. I sat behind him while a friend of ours right next to me.

On the way home, I woke up in the middle of the ride realizing the right side of my face was resting on the upper left side of his back, or somewhere near his shoulder or maybe it was on his left shoulder;) I was kinda snuggling behind, feeling the warmth emanating from his body. I was unaware at first because I dozed off right from the very minute we left the bar. It was the cold wind that really  woke me up and that was when I found out I was already too close to him. (DANGER Zone!) Worse, I decided to get closer even if I was already conscious! Ugh! Fatal mistake! Blame it to the chillin’ cold!

01.26.11

-Putting me to a Test?-

He deliberately bumped my back! He was not in his usual self. I found it confusing yet kiliiiigggg. It was getting me nuts! I knew it was nothing on his part but I could not help myself getting kilig over simple things as split-second stares, light touches, teasing…:(

***Got more of these silly stories.. Till next time…(UNEDITED post)